Not Always, So Dreamy

I drempt not of you
but how to reach you
I thought not of you
but of other mistakes made
I tried to avoid you
but you're the end of the line
I wanted to see you
but you were already in my eyes
I saw both here and there
but also everywhere in between
I worried and wondered
but you smiled and stayed
I heard your voice inside
but also all around me
I felt a hug and some love
but I didn't know it

I cried until I laughed
but not with you
I lied until I hurt
but not with you
I died inside my heart
but not with you
I let some of it go
but not with you
I broke some of it down
but not with you

I forgot something, too
but not without you
I gave something to you
but not my heart
I willed something to you
but not my love
I sent something to you
but not my cares
I meant something to you
but not my words
I said something to you
but not my mind
I spelled something for you
but not your language
I wrote you a message
but not with my hand
I made you a letter
but not with my dress

I found you a way
but not on my own
I created our myth
but not on my own
I saw everything, there
but not in my eyes
I heard it all said before
but not from your mouth
I felt these things once
but not with only you
I was touched once
but not from anyone like you
I listened so very well
but not to only you

I sensed something, there
but not ever from you
I taste pleasure and pain
but not ever from you
I swallow ripe and ready
but not ever from you
I smell a true change
but not ever from you

You thought you knew me
but I knew you too
You saw right through me
but I sensed you too
You hugged me tight
but I grabbed you closer
You kissed me right
but I, even more, then
I try to move away
but it only pulls me closer
I look the other way
but it turns it all around

I want drive and run
but I must ride it slow
I want now and fast
but I must time it right
I want fury and fire
but I must ice and chill
I want this and that
but I must hold and reach
I want nothing and everything
but I must go and wait
I want before and thereafter
but I must give and take
I want forever and a day
butI must bide and waste
I want something and someone
but I must make and do
I need to stay and plan
but I will get up and go
I need to think and learn
but I will move-on and grow
I need to try and win
but I will play again

You can't have my mind
it's already spoken for
You can't have my soul
it's already said to suffer
You can't have my heart
it's already been given away
And I forgot how to find it
but not how to find you

I find you wet and rainy
but you're warm and dry
I find you loud and thunder
but you're soft and soothing
I find you thick and stormy
but you're easy and safe
I find you sunny and bright
but you're enlightening and night
I find you tranced and sweaty
but you're sleepy and clean
I find you arisen and alive
but you're in place and dynamic
I find you calm and electric
but you're refreshing and new

I feel you in the wind
I know you in the breeze
I miss you in the lack
I find you in the tickle

I think I'm ready
but I'm so very weak
I know I could
but it's so very scary
I believe, it will
but inside's so very cold

You make me so very high
I'm driven there at will
You make me so very free
I'm given the peace thrill
You make me so very drunk
I'm lost in the woods
You make me so very open
I'm found in the meadow
You make me so very sick
I'm walking on the brook
You make me so very sure
I'm talking through the air
You let me be so very
So, I let you be wary


(fyi...new stuff)