Tuesday, September 26

...Now, where was I...

not Bactine, not Cortaid (spray or scrub), not aloe, not menthol, not homeopathic/herbal allergy (pill or cream) remedies, not even dog saliva... and believe you me, I'm willing to try ANYTHING.

So, I finally went to see a doctor. He claimed it was Poison Ivy.

Although I explained to him the intense hornet's-nest fires-straight-from-hell burning-sensation of each of the dozen (or so) stings which match the locations of the worst of the rash, he wouldn't listen. Told me I didn't know what I was talking about... as if I could make up something like this... because I was too ignorant to know what Poison Ivy is. "Oh, you work outside. It Poison Ivy."

So, I splains ta him:

I work (not to mention play) outside. I get Poison Ivy 5-6 times a year, every year. Every time I get it, I see it (that 3-leafed lil devil). But by the time I see it, it's too late, I already have it. I did NOT see Poison Ivy BECAUSE IT WAS NOT THERE... but I did, however, see THE SINGLE MOST DAMNABLE CATERPILLAR ON THE FACE OF THE FECKING EARTH. ( <-- Can you tell burning & itching continue, now.) I also SAW my arm on it. ( <-- notice I didn't say that the other way around)

Lucky thing, I hope, though... a steroid shot as the doctor's prescribed remedy for my 'poison ivy'... is something which 'should' work just as well for the new-found allergy I apparently have to what irony would have me remember as one the most magestic caterpillars I've ever seen (at first glance). Today's lesson: Caterpillars are ugly and plain, as a rule... when they appear fantastic: oh, they are.

Saturday, September 23


(scroll to the last article)

Once you have encountered a saddleback caterpillar, its an experience your not likely to forget soon.

Or ever. As long as I live I hope I never see, or more importantly feel, another.

No really effective home first aid treatments for caterpillar stings are available.

Not Calamine, not Cortizone, not Campho-phenique, not Neosporin, not Benadryl, not soap and water, not rest, not drinking lots of water, not tape, not baking soda, not prayer, not even selling your soul to the devil will remedy the itching and burning... or even help stop the spreading of the rash.

It felt as if I was shoving my arms into a hornet's nest... again, and again, and again. I have about a dozen stings on my legs and arms, yet the rash has spread to my face, stomach, and back. I'm as irritable as if I were having the worst case of pms ever, yet after a few days the pain/irritation didn't fade. Four days and counting. And the rash on my lips has to be my favorite, followed closely by the one surrounding my eyes, of course.

It just looked at me with those closed-grinning-Cheshire-cat-eyes as if to say how proud it was, what an accomplishment... like I had just made its day. I think this might have been the first time I have ever really wanted a bug to die... at my hand, with all the vengenance possible.