Monday, August 9

garagevandleball

You toss it 'til there's nothing left
til the pieces are too small
to find or to pick up
just like my heart
shattered, splintered, broken
too far gone to repair
so much damage,
there's no going back
and nothing to go back to
there's no pain, only rage
there's not grudges, only forgiveness
there's no way, only mistakes
I can't help it
I can't stop it
I have no control
I have no say
I play my part
but I'm sick to death of it
I want only the best
only the peace
only the happiness
only that which they deserve
I can't give anymore
There's none left to give

I try harder
but it only gets harder
I talk faster, louder, deeper
but it only does less
fades faster
destroys more
There's no answer
no solution
no reason, only pain
Suffering should be a choice
it's a past, time
it's a tradition
it's a function of time
it's the reason no one listens
it's the purpose I try
it's the failure I find
it's the thing I can't change
it's the problem I tried
long, long ago to solve
I couldn't then
I can't now
I never will
It's up to him, only him
never me, never me, and
never me, never changes
they didn't,
they couldn't
I shouldn't

I ask if he'll learn
I cry, I beg, I yell
but it's the same
I can't do for myself
can't save them
can't save me
can't change a god damn thing
crying only hurts
wastes time, water and salt
beggin only belittles
lowers, worries, and bothers
yelling only worsens
life, love, and liberty

There is no pursuit of happiness
There is no right to anything
There is no place for more
even less, one for (insert name here)
I gave first, I gave all
I gave more, now and then
I'm done, I'm empty
I'm fried, I'm wasted
I'm tired, I'm worn

I can't, so why do I try
I want, but I can't have
I shant, any more -- not less